"Another wonderful day at church," said in a slightly mocking tone.
Now, please understand, I love going to church and going to all of my meetings, but there are some Sundays, like this one, where the choices I've made, leave me feeling more drained than uplifted at the end of it all.
It started out really great! The girls made it through all of Sacrament, although we did use up almost all of the treats we brought, just to keep them occupied. But, none the less, they made it through the first hour. I on the other hand, was doing my best to keep my emotions in check. I don't know what it was, but every hymn we sang just made me want to start crying. I was really missing Jake today, so that could have been a HUGE factor in that.
Then it was on to Nursery and Sunday School. Lizzi and Maddi went right into Nursery without a fuss. I didn't even need to sneak out, they both waved and said "Bye!" (they are growing up so fast!) So, I headed into Sunday School. I even found myself a seat in the front row. ( I was so proud of myself) Then, I was called out to change Lizzi's poopy diaper. (it went down hill from there)
Suddenly, I felt really overwhelmed. I changed her diaper and took her back to the Nursery. But then I just felt like I couldn't handle going back into Sunday School. So, I went out and sat in the fourier, and told myself that I would take a short break and then go back for Relief Society. I figured, there was not much time left in Sunday School, and that I would be more disruptive than anything else, if I went back in there.
I can tell that it's time to start the third hour, by all the shuffling in the hall. I gather myself together and head towards the Relief Society Room. Looking through the window, I can see that they have already started, and my justifications for not going in started pouring into my mind.
I ended up hanging out in the hall, reading the bulletin board, and was "planning" on going in, but never actually went in. I did catch up with another Sister in the hall, who was trying to calm her baby down. She and I talked for the rest of that hour about various "mom" topics. When the meetings were over I went and got Lizzi and Maddi out of the Nursery and we went home.
I really felt like I could have stayed home, for all that I didn't do or get out of church today. I seriously need to make going, actually attending, to all of my Church meetings a priority. I can definitely tell the difference between a uplifting day at church and a "I'm just here" day at church.
The Hobbit Quotes
2 years ago
3 comments:
Keep your head up, things will get better! I really like the dresses you made. You are very talented. I have only been making cakes since Cynthia turned 1, so that is just a little over a year. Let me know dates when everything becomes official and we will defiantly go and have a girls night. Sadly I have started to work full time, so we will have to arrange something around that. Please let me know if there is anything that I could help you with. I also wish that you were back in SLC. It would be great to have a girl friend around.
Give yourself credit for staying through Sacrament meeting and staying at church and not just heading home. You are establishing a habit for your girls.
I know exactly how you feel! I don't have the exact same situation obviously, but we've been struggling with this sort of thing for a while. When we first got married, Chris worked on Sundays. I had the hardest time getting myself to church, and I eventually gave up. I hated going alone. Now that he finally has Sundays off, we are trying to go every week, but it is soo hard now. I can definitely see a difference in our lives though. I saw something once at a youth conference. There was a picture of Christ, and underneath it, it said "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." I don't know where that quote came from, but I always try to think about that when I'm sitting out in the hall, or leaving early.
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