Day 15
Something or someone you couldn't live without, because you've tried living without it.
Well, that's easy...
{ My Hubby Jake }
I hate being away from him. Which will be pretty often, since he enlisted in the Army. It's not so bad, as long as I can still talk or text him on the phone, but it gets really lonely when there's nothing, no communication at all. Even "snail mail" is better than nothing at all. Because, at least then I have something to look forward to. Something that has traveled miles and great distances, from his hands to mine. A paper and ink translation of his thoughts, hopes and dreams.
But, as an Army Wife, I have to get used to not talking to my soldier whenever I want. I can't just ask him how his day was or tell him about mine.
On the other hand, it makes every moment we are together more wonderful, because we know that there's always a chance he could be gone the next day. We know that we need to enjoy our family time, and not waste it on fighting about who left their dishes in the sink or silly little things like that.
Our time together has been, well not perfect, but definitely a lot better. And, a lot of that has to do with me. I'm normally the one picking the fights. And most of them are about nothing of any great importance in any scheme, grand or otherwise. There's a part of me that has to have things done just so, and if there not, watch out! I've had to learn how to control that and allow things to settle however they're going to settle. When you're married and you have kids, this becomes a daily task, because nothing is going to turn out just the way you want it. And, a lot of that has to do with the fact that there are so many other people trying to make things work, that there's too many variables for it to end up just the way you envisioned it.
I love my Jake so much. He has made his whole world revolve around me, well and our two little girls.
One of the biggest grievances he had, when we were having financial problems, was that he couldn't buy me flowers anymore. He loves surprising me with flowers, and I love getting them. He also hated that we couldn't go out on dates anymore. Well, I guess we kind of went on dates, but I don't think the "value menu" really counts. At least we could still afford to get the occasional movie, with his free movie rental code for Red Box. He loves cuddling up with me and watching movies, not that I mind it myself :) He's also an amazing father. He loves playing and teasing and tickling and flipping them around those two little cuties. He hates being away from our girls and the feeling of missing out. He was able to be here for the baby milestones, like sitting, rolling, crawling, walking, and first words, for the most part. But, there's still a lot more going on, and he hates that he can't be here for it. It's hard being so far away from the one person you want to be the closest to.
We've always loved being together. We almost knew it from the moment we met. There was about 2 weeks between the time we met to when we started dating, and only about 5 days after that we knew we wanted to marry each other. So, most of our "dating" was spent planning our wedding and our future together. We didn't want to waste a single moment being without each other.
I'm so excited that I have such an amazing husband to spend the rest of life with and into the eternities. I still get butterflies in my stomach when I think about him. When we went out to his Basic Training Graduation, I couldn't hardly eat anything, I was so nervous about seeing him for the first time in over 2 months. there wasn't anything in particular that I was worried about, I was just so excited that I was finally going to see my best friend for the first time in so long.
Some people have told me that it gets easier. Some part of me hopes that's true, but another part hopes that the pain I feel doesn't go away. It's kind of like a swift kick, a reminder that he still has my heart, that I still love him. That I'll be anxiously awaiting his next return home with open arms. To hear his voice speak my name. To look into his eyes as they look into mine. To feel the touch of his hand brush across my face.
I love you honey :)
30 Days of Truth Challenge
Day 16.)Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17.)A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18.)Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19.)What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20.)Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21.)(scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22.)Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23.)Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24.)Make a play list to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25.)The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26.)Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27.)What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28.)What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do.
Day 29.)Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30.)A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
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